Alive and Issan Bound

31/3

So I’m not really as busy right now, but the combination of apathy and my newly received 1st season of 30 Rock have really put a damper on my writing. It’s been raining a good bit the last few days and my host dad says it’ll last another three. The Thai folks really like the rain because it makes it cooler and also makes it easier to harvest the cassava, but jeeze can it make biking miserable. Right now the wind is blowing through open windows in my giant room and there’s a light rain on the tin roof. There are a lot of leaves on the floor that have blown in through the window, and when it rained hard a few nights ago there were a few drops that blew in and landed on me in my bed. Whether it’s the heat or the rain, the weather is such a force here. There’s this constant power around us, pushing us around, reminding us that we’re only human and keeping us in perspective. In the second story of an un-insulated wooden house, I can feel the wind push over me while I lay in bed, and it sooths the frustrations of training and steals the narcissism of volunteerism and all that’s left is calm, like sand settling on the bottom of an ocean. It’s all very Buddhist, I think. But my self-importance is never gone for long, and so I’ll get back to talking about my life as of late.

So we did our presentation in Thai and had a powerpoint and it went well until the head of our subdistrict got up and started quizzing us all on the community leaders’ names while they were all in the room and then it got awkward for a bit, but we just smiled and acted like we didn’t really understand what she was saying, even though it was being translated to us, and eventually she just got impatient and made everyone introduce themselves and it blew over and was finally finished. It was sad leaving there for the last time, but I promised I would go back and look at a computer they had that wasn’t working. I don’t know if I’ll get a chance to, and I doubt I could do much anyways, so I probably won’t.

I had my language proficiency interview on Saturday and got my score yesterday, and I did better than I needed to, but scored the same as most people. I should have focused on the test a little more, but the folks planning our training decided to put the biggest project in training the day before the language test, so I’m not going to go blaming myself too much. But ever since those two things were done, I’ve been hard pressed to feel motivated because we’re practically finished. Most of our time now is spent preparing for our thank you party for our host families, and it’s really hard to take the work that we have left with any seriousness. There’s an interview tomorrow with my technical trainer and then another interview the next day with my country director. [got tired and decided to pick this up later, but didn’t]

4/4

Tonight is the last night at homestay and I haven’t packed yet. I’m leaving at 9 in the morning, but when I said I needed some time to pack my possessions, my dad said the morning was plenty of time. I’m still not sure if her realizes that I don’t wake up at 4 with everyone else. Or at least get up. But today was a pretty good day, even though it was hectic. I went and bought gifts for all the folks at my homestay, which just feels nice, and the kids seemed pretty excited about the water guns I got them for sang kran (the three day festival coming up in a week or two during the hottest part of the year where the whole country erupts into a giant water and baby powder fight). Tonight I went to another monkhood party with crazy dancers, except I think half of these dancers were “men” and they were all wearing disco style shoes with 6-inch high heels. I was the only American at this one, and I’ve found a comfort zone in these situations where I listen and usually understand a bit, but don’t generally talk much. Today was also our last class sessions during PST and our elections for the Volunteer Action Committee, in which two PCVs from each technical group are elected to represent any grievances or ideas or expectations, etc. to the PC staff, particularly the country director. I thought I’d be good at the position and ran relatively hard and ended up winning, which I’m really excited about. More to come on those duties later

My interviews were both surprisingly positive. I’d heard from last year’s group that they would bring up random things that people reported that were never brought up until the end, but that didn’t really happen. They told the four people in my language group that our humor was too irreverent, and then they gave me feedback on body language. I’m not sure what their real point was other than to tell us we weren’t Thai, because nearly everyone received some sort of negative feedback in that area, and it ran the entire gamut. A lot of people were told to “smile more,” some were told (like me) that they “look unfriendly,” and then other people were told that they looked too happy and staff was worried about how they were going to lose it if they ever weren’t happy. It seems they just wanted to give us some negative feedback of that nature whether it was valid or not. So they hit me with being too serious and appearing unfriendly and then said I was doing great and that I’ll probably make a good volunteer. Once the interviews were done we spent most of the time practicing a Thai dance that a few of us are doing at our thank you party tomorrow. It’s pretty exciting stuff. I’ve also been practicing a short thank you speech that I’m doing tomorrow with one other person to represent the 8 folks living in our subdistrict. I also got a little caught up in getting things for the fam and campaigning a bit.

Last night my family had a special dinner for me with barbequed pork and some crazy good sauces. I think I’ve mentioned it before, and it’s one of the things I learned to cook, so I’m looking forward to trying to make it at site. We finally also broke out barbequed beetles, which were surprisingly good, but I still didn’t want to eat many. I bought some Johnny Walker black and brought out the last of my Baileys, and it was a good time. Then after dinner I spent about an hour playing with bottle caps with my host brothers before going to bed.

I’ve grown especially fond of everyone, and am so tired I’m about to crash, but I’m going to make a point of talking about it all in my next entry (or my next next entry). Good night and good rest.

Oh, wait. I’ve been meaning to do this for a while and this is the first time I remembered. Every time I write a blog entry from now on I’m going to try to include a song of the day. I like this idea because it forces me to listen to more music, and because I like sharing my music. Also, if you have the song it might help convey my state of mind. Today’s song is “You, Me, and the Bourgeoisie,” by the submarines. I feel good now, but over the week I got stressed out and it was good to ask “who am I to break down?”

Also, new favorite Thai phrase/sign off: Dtam Jai Kun. “follow your heart.” It’s great, because it’s not just for big things here. If someone asks you where we should all go for lunch and you don’t feel like picking or don’t want to force your opinion on them (b/c they will go where you say), then just say “dtam jai kun.” So versatile and a little poignant. I like it. So, blog friends, Dtam jai kun. –Me

7/4

And so I leave for site in two days. Weird mix between comforting and overwhelming. Our counterpart conference started yesterday, where people from the village come to try to reach an understanding on our expectations for the first few months and to have access to a translator for a few days. The two chief administrators from the local gov in my area came for me because the person that was supposed to be my counterpart moved. One of them brought their son, too, which is nice because he’s about my age and speaks a little limited English and seems like a nice, sharp guy. Downside of this (of course there’s a downside) is that one of these admins (the one whose son came) is up for reelection in July and isn’t favored to win. The other one was described to me by my project manager as particularly unmotivated, and gets bored and leaves for hours at a time during the conference. The other person that was active in bringing me there was the counterpart that has already moved, so I’m currently fretting a little bit that, come August, there won’t be anyone left in my office that actually wants me there. That seems too far off to really worry much about, but I can’t seem to dismiss it completely.

But right now we’ve moved back into the hotel, and it’s a fast few days of heavy drinking at night and then trying to plan the next six months of our lives during the day while the pc staff continually beats our counterparts over the head with the idea that learning and adjusting to a new culture isn’t easy and that we should be excused our few eccentricities, breakdowns, etc.. We swear in in two days, but that seems a really long way out right now, and is really just the short ceremony before we’re finally allowed to litter the country with our idealism and hot heads and bachelors’ degrees. The conference is helpful at times and frustrating at others, and I feel like they had too many things to do in too little time and decided that, rather than leave anything out, they’d make us do everything in about half the amount of time it should require. But I’ve learned a lot about my community and a few of the expectations they have of me, which start out with learning and cultural exchange and transition into organizational structure for occupational groups and eventually peak with me defying the laws of supply and demand to make people buy their rice at a higher price. God knows I’ll try.

Past groups have always done the counterpart conference in Bangkok over the period of a week and then had a big swearing in ceremony at a resort style hotel, then got a week off in Bangkok to recuperate before heading to site. Some combo of our failing economy and weaksauce excuse for an ex-president means that we can’t even afford to hold our swearing in in the nicer of the two hotels in this small town after our three-day conference.

Missing everybody back home more than usual and I’ll be writing you all in a few weeks when my life is scheduled to slow down. Song of the day: “Young Folks” by Peter Bjorn and John. Apologies for being sluggish with my posting. Dtam Jai Kun